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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26293597">The Loneliness of Memory</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/dragonwings948/pseuds/dragonwings948'>dragonwings948</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Doctor Who, Doctor Who (1963), Doctor Who (Big Finish Audio)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Companions, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Exploring the TARDIS, Friendship, Friendship/Love, Hurt/Comfort, Meddling TARDIS, Mentioned Companions (Doctor Who), Mentioned Past Companions (Doctor Who), TARDIS Rooms, TARDIS Shenanigans</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 08:28:13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,889</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26293597</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/dragonwings948/pseuds/dragonwings948</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>While on a hunt for a ballgown, Charley stumbles upon several rooms in the TARDIS, and she isn't quite sure what to make of them.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Eighth Doctor &amp; Charley Pollard</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>20</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>The Loneliness of Memory</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This was the original start to the fic that became Who You're Dancing With, but it started to become an entirely different idea than Eight and Charley dancing at a ball so I saved this for another fic entirely, and here it is! Enjoy!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“A ball?” Charley asked. She pictured it in her mind: elegant lords and ladies in expensive clothes, live musicians, dancing…</p><p>“A ball.” The Doctor grinned as if he had just explained the meaning of life. “A <em>grand </em>ball. I haven’t been to one in ages. But where to go, where to go…” He tapped his fingers on the console and frowned, his eyes flicking back and forth like he was looking at an imaginary list in his mind. Finally, his expression lifted into a delighted smile. “Perfect! I wonder why I didn’t think of it before.”</p><p>“Well, where is it?”</p><p>“That, my dear Charlotte, is a surprise.” Manic mirth shone in his eyes as he danced around the console, pushing buttons as he went. “I’ll land the TARDIS while you go get changed.”</p><p>Charley looked down at her outfit that was appropriate enough for gadding about the universe, but not nearly suitable for a “grand ball.” “There’s nothing good enough for me to wear in my room, Doctor.”</p><p>“There will be something in the wardrobe.” He glanced past her and pointed. “First left, second right, <em>all </em>the way down at the end of the corridor on the right. You can’t miss it.”</p><p>Charley repeated his instructions in a whisper, turning back towards the corridors.</p><p>“Don’t be too long!” the Doctor called after her.</p><p>“I’ll take all the time I need, thank you very much.” And without waiting for a reply, Charley left the console room. She chanted the directions steadily and followed them to the letter, but when she came to the end of the correct corridor and opened the door on the right, it was certainly not a wardrobe. In fact, it looked rather like someone’s bedroom; no one was inside, but there was enough stuff strewn around that it looked like the inhabitant would be back any minute.</p><p>Curiosity won over and Charley strode inside hesitantly. “Hello?” she called, though there were relatively few places anyone could hide. No, there definitely wasn’t anyone there. And unless the Doctor had been keeping one giant secret from her, no one else lived on the TARDIS besides the two of them, and it certainly wasn’t the Doctor’s room. The bed was unmade with several pillows strewn about and the closet was full of skirts, trousers, and blouses, some of which Charley guessed were after her time because of how different they looked. A few unlabeled…<em>canisters, </em>Charley decided to call them, were scattered about the room. She picked one up out of curiosity and found it was much heavier than it looked. Unsure of what it contained, she carefully set it down. Some strange, boxy piece of technology sat beside the bed. It looked like it had buttons on the top, but once again she wasn’t sure what it did so refrained from touching it.</p><p>Charley sighed as she finished her examination of the room. No ballgowns in there.</p><p>She searched in every single room she came across just in case the Doctor had gotten the directions a bit wrong. Each room was distinctly different, but still contained the same basic layout as the first. Some were neat, some were tidy. One contained a closet full of the strangest clothing Charley had ever seen—thigh-length boots, fur coats, and short dresses—while another contained no clothing at all, but had papers filled with scribbled mathematical equations pinned up all over the walls. She came across a very neat room with loads of smart-looking women’s clothes in the closet, perhaps something a teacher would wear, but they had obviously been worn by someone taller than Charley.</p><p>She got a little frustrated as she perused room after room without luck, but at the same time she was fascinated (and a little apprehensive) about what these rooms meant. People had lived here. Many people. Had they all lived here at the same time? Where were they from? Where did they go? Why were their rooms still kept like the TARDIS was waiting for them to return at any moment?</p><p>Then finally, so far back into the TARDIS that she’d lost her way entirely, Charley found a room that looked more lived in than any of the others. Blankets and pillows lay in a tangled heap on the bed, clothes were left in piles on the floor, books were stacked on a bedside table, and posters of various musical groups were tacked to the wall, some of the musicians obviously not human.</p><p>Charley felt drawn to this room. She stepped in lightly, carefully sidestepping the clothes on the floor. She picked up a history textbook that sat next to the bed and opened to the front cover. On the inside, the name “Susan Foreman” was written in a light script. Charley set the book back down. At least she had a name this time.</p><p>She glanced at the closet, wondering if she could borrow any of this “Susan” person’s clothes, and smiled as she realised that they were nearly the same size. She rifled through the closet for a minute before she found it.</p><p>It was the very picture of elegance, a silky dark green gown with ruffles on the sleeves. It was floor-length and so pristine that it looked as if it had never been worn. Charley gaped at it in awe. Not only was it beautiful, but it looked like it had come from her own time; either that, or a time and place with exactly the same fashion.</p><p>But a thought crept into Charley’s mind. Had the Doctor brought “Susan” to a ball too?</p><p>Charley shook her head. She could think on that later. For now, she had found a dress…and she was entirely lost in the depths of the TARDIS.</p><p>She decided to go ahead and change into the dress; she didn’t want to risk wrinkling the fabric or accidentally dragging it along the ground while carrying it. So she kicked off her shoes and promptly changed into the gown, finding that it fit perfectly. She glanced at herself in a full-length mirror in the room and smiled. It felt like she was wearing a piece of home.</p><p>But now the diversions were over, and she was faced with the reality of the fact that she had no idea how to get back to the console room.</p><p>Well, there was only one thing for it: wander along until she found it or the Doctor came looking for her.</p><p>She stepped out into the dimly lit corridor apprehensively. As her bare feet touched the cold floor, she realised that she had forgotten to put her shoes back on. She spun around—</p><p>—and stared at a blank wall.</p><p>Charley blinked, then glared up at the ceiling. “This is all <em>your </em>fault, isn’t it?” she asked the TARDIS. “First you hide the wardrobe, now you’ve made my shoes disappear…” She suddenly wondered if the TARDIS could keep her trapped in here forever, constantly shifting the corridors so she’d never find her way out. Charley shivered at the thought. But before she could allow herself to dwell on it further, a voice called her name.</p><p>“Charley?”</p><p>“Doctor!” She grinned and had a mind to run towards his voice, but remembering the dress she had on, decided to walk instead. “Doctor, I’m here!”</p><p>His face suddenly appeared from a branching corridor. “Charley! You were gone so long I—” But he physically froze as if time had stopped altogether. He gawked at her, his mouth falling open. “Wh-where did you get that?”</p><p>Charley frowned, a little put out by the lack of compliments. “The wardrobe wasn’t where you said it was, so I decided to go searching.” As she examined his expression, she realised there was more to it than shock—something old and melancholy shone in his eyes.</p><p>He said nothing as he continued advancing toward her, though his steps were measured now.</p><p>Charley looked down and clasped her hands together in front of her. “I’m sorry if I did something wrong—this was the only thing I could find.”</p><p>The Doctor shook his head, seeming to recover himself. “No, Charley, it’s all right. I just haven’t seen that dress in a very, very long time. You look very fetching,” he added with a small smile. “Though I would suggest some shoes might go nicely with it.”</p><p>Charley looked down at her toes and chuckled. Now that the Doctor was here, she found the situation more humorous than annoying. “The TARDIS moved the last room I was in before I could go back and get my shoes.” She looked into his eyes and found that he was staring at the dress again; not actually her <em>in</em> the dress, she realised, but the dress itself, like it held a poignant memory.</p><p>“Doctor…” she began, a little afraid to ask. “Who is Susan?”</p><p>There was a look in his eyes that she wanted to understand. Pain. Love. Guilt. Everything in between.</p><p>The Doctor still didn’t meet her eyes. “Susan…”</p><p>For a moment, Charley thought he was going to tell her.</p><p>“Susan is a story for later. Right now, we have a ball to attend.”</p><p>Charley sighed. “But Doctor! What about all the other rooms? The scary one with furs and leather on the floor and the one with history books and cocoa tins and—?”</p><p>“Not now, Charley.” He started walking back the way he had come and Charley quickly followed, not wanting to get lost again.</p><p>Charley groaned in aggravation. “Doctor, you can’t just brush it off like that!”</p><p>The Doctor spun on her, the seriousness in his face so uncharacteristic that it scared her. “Yes, I can. This is my ship, and these are my rules. I never asked you to go snooping around, anyway.”</p><p>“I wasn’t <em>snooping. Your </em>TARDIS wouldn’t let me find the wardrobe!” She crossed her arms over her chest. She wasn’t going to let this go. “Doctor, who <em>were </em>those people?”</p><p>He was very still for a moment. She wondered if he would simply turn and keep walking. But instead, slowly, his face softened. “They were friends, Charley,” he said gently. “Family.”</p><p>She relaxed her expression accordingly. “And…where are they now?”</p><p>“Not in the TARDIS, if that’s what you’re afraid of. Some are back in their homes. Some are off living brand new lives. Others…”</p><p>He didn’t need to finish his sentence. Charley could read it in his eyes.</p><p>There was a lengthy pause.</p><p>“I’m sorry,” Charley said, her voice barely more than a whisper. “I’ll find a different dress—”</p><p>“No.” A small smile twitched at the corners of the Doctor’s lips. “Susan wouldn’t mind. In fact, I think she would rather like you.”</p><p>“Well, if her sense of fashion is anything to go by, I think I’d like her too.”</p><p>Hope shone in the Doctor’s eyes. “Maybe,” he murmured, though he sounded like he was talking more to himself. “Maybe one day soon, I <em>will </em>go back.”</p><p>“Doctor?”</p><p>His smile widened and he took her hand. “Come along, Charley, we have shoes to find and a ball to get to.”</p><p>His enthusiasm was contagious. Charley smiled too and allowed him to lead her back through the TARDIS corridors.</p><p>Charley still didn’t know who Susan was—but she sincerely hoped that one day she’d have the chance to thank her.</p>
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